ramblings

GAH! im at work and its super slow. i have stuff on my mind but i cant think straight. i have a killer headache and neck ache. i think my sinus junk is being crazy and i need a neck adjustment. im going to call and see if i can get in to my chiropractor on tuesday.

i think what sucks the most about being slow at work is that my mind is everywhere, thinking about everything. i think about the future and where i would like to go. i think about the present and all of the things i still need to do. i also think about the past and all of the things i miss. im pretty happy with the present.

i just recently moved in with a couple of friends from church. i love the house. i love the peace and love that radiate from it. i feel safe and home. i feel accepted and wanted. i live closer to people. its nice all around.

i think from here on out im going to rant and just say everything that is on my mind. im sorry if it doesnt make sense to you.

last night i talked to an old friend. he and i dated. it was short lived and i found myself thinking, "what the heck kind of crack was i smoking." ha ha! it was good though. i felt awful afterwards though. he is in a dark place and feels like he doesnt know how to get out. i think he knows. i also think that this dark place is easier and more comfortable than getting straight. i kind of told him that. for the most part, i just listened to him. i wanted to hug him tight and tell him that itd be ok. i wanted to tell him that he isnt alone and hasnt been rejected. i didnt though. i told him that i didnt know what to say to him.

i told him i didnt have the answers. i mean, i don't have the answers. i dont know what to tell him. i know that he has to want jesus and that relationship again and that until he is willing to give up all of the worldly things, he wont have that. he knows that. i know he knows that. i hope he doesnt mess around forever.

talking to him made me think about all friendships. im thankful for the old ones but im so excited for the new ones im cultivating! i should do some work.