oh alice, how did you do it?

so, lately i've been feeling a little alice from alice in wonderland. i feel like i've fallen down a rabbit hole. i feel like i'm spinning and spinning out of control! it's as if i'm falling and falling and i've no idea where i'm going to land. what if there's nothing soft at the bottom to catch me? what if i get caught on a branch halfway down and i'm stuck there forever? then i think, "if i fall and something soft catches me at the bottom, what happens next?" what becomes of me at the bottom? if i survive the fall, will i survive life in the rabbit hole? will i make it alone or will i need some help; if i need help, will there be anyone there to assist me? this whole thing is so scary. what if i don't make it? what if i get lost? will this fall be worth it in the end? oh alice, how did you do it?

ramblings of a pissed off woman, pt 1

so, i feel so angry! i'm not really sure why. everything i think and feel is all jumbled up inside of my mind. i think i'm just going to let it all out. so, here it is:

1. i'm so tired of people promising to be there and then theyre not! what the heck? if you say youre there, be there! if i say ill be there, i am.


2. if you don't understand what im saying, just fricking tell me. dont let me go on and on if you dont fricking know! tell me so i can clarify.


3. if i share how i feel w/ you, dont judge me or look at me like im an idiot. if you dont agree w/ the way i feel, deal w/ it. i really just need someone to listen to me.


4. i think about cutting ALL THE TIME!!!! you don't know this bc you dont care enough to listen. if you do care, ive prob not told you bc i dont want to stress you out. or im afraid youll judge me for being so weak.


5. i want to say screw it all!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!